The rigid complementary pattern would be the most difficult to change. In the example in the text, a mother teaches a child most things in life, and the child is influenced by her. The child is powerless and has no say in how he or she is raised. As a child you rely on your elders to provide for you and hopefully raise you in a safe and loving environment. This would be the hardest dynamic to change due to the simple age factor.
The rigid complementary pattern is absolutely more damaging to a relationship. When you have one partner or friend that is more powerful or dominant and controlling it can escalate into an abusive one. I know many people who have been in unhealthy relationships, and this pattern was always the initial trait. One shows dominance and the other is too submissive, so the controlling culprit takes advantage of the power and it becomes an out-of-control situation. This pattern is also potentially most damaging to one’s self esteem. If you are the submissive person, you have let go of all self worth and look to the dominate one to uphold your esteem. This rarely and often never occurs, so the self esteem is not rebuilt until the relationship has been terminated.
Hey comm rocker,
ReplyDeleteWow, I never thought that the rigid complementary pattern was more damaging to a relationship than a competitive pattern. In my post, I mentioned that both rigid complementary and competitive were just as damaging. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel that when you are competitive with your partner, you could truly put one another down because you think that you are better than the other person. Hurtful words may be exchange to put one another down during a competition. However, after reading your discussion post, I finally realize that how powerful and scary it is to be in a relationship with a rigid complementary pattern. Good job on the post!
Hey Comm Rocker!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that rigid complementary pattern would be the most difficult to change. I too chose this one for my post. This pattern it is usually established, whether it's by age, family role, tribe role, or organizational role to name a few. I didnt pick rigid complementary pattern in relation to damaging a relationship, however you make a very valid point. This type of pattern in a relationship can escalate into something as bad as an abusive one. This leads to how this pattern can also damage one's self esteem. The submissive individual can often have built self esteem from the dominant figure, unfortunately, that creates a potential for the submissive individual to be vulnerable in conflict.
-Rob